R had a bit of a stressful Saturday morning as we went to a few places to get shopping. Nonetheless he was really well behaved as I now know all the signs of him stressing and take action to alleviate anxiety.
He has become quite attached to me and wants to be in close proximity. We popped into a cafe for a hot chocolate but it was noisy, as was town, and R was really gnawing his nails. He couldn't log on to play his game on his tablet so we decided to go home as soon as possible.
We had our food voucher from social services so went to buy a new toothbrush and paste which Romeo chose. He likes the 9-12 year old paste and he chose a snazzy monochrome electric brush. We talked about cleaning his teeth that night but R still takes a great deal of persuasion and so he declined. We make deals and pinky promises but they usually slip and I do not pressure him.
R did however have two nice strip washes with a big bowl of water and a Vivienne Westwood soft designer flannel, which he likes. He seems to prefer this to bathing and is of the opinion that one bath a week is sufficient.
As the weather is muggy the strip washes cool him down and I think they are fun for him.
He has managed to clean his teeth once and I gave him a lot of encouragement and told him his teeth sparkled.
We were much more relaxed at home and Romeo settled. He went to bed around 6pm.
He has started to eat less, leaving food and asking me to leave only one peanut butter sandwich for when he wakes instead of two. I think he may have lost a pound or two since he has been here. He has realised I do not fry anything and was not impressed. But his panic at not having food around seems less obvious now. I never deny him food and this seems to be paying off. I also promised him I will never let him go without food as a punishment.
I do not tell him anything negative about his weight, I tell him he is beautiful and perfect.
I have started watering down his apple juice, using skimmed milk, light drinking chocolate and other sneaky grandma tactics.
He has sussed when I try to do maths things, and says he knows what I am up to. I tried to discuss even and odd numbers and he answered a question then look quizzically saying 'I am not doing maths things.' We laughed about it.
R likes me to go in his room and hang out for an odd half hour. I wrote his name on my iPad and showed him some digital colouring techniques which he was interested in. He said the R was like the logo for one of his games and he found an image of it on Google before I could even type it in the search box.
He is very computer savvy. He told me he was regularly on a stranger meeting site online which I looked up on Google (Omegle) and it seems to be quite dangerous. There is no age verification and a lot of adult material and grooming. I spoke to R about never showing his face or body online and he said he would never do that.
R woke at 2.15am. We were both thrilled that he had slept so late and we think he may be back to normal soon.
Sunday was a gentle day with no stress and lots of chilling. R left half a bowl of porridge and I think his appetite is regulating along with his sleep pattern.
R did not like me not being able to hear him when he called as I was editing music with headphones on. He asked that I have one ear free at all times. R calls me a lot, mostly to take his tray away after food, but also, everything else. He has started to venture out of his room more and is happy to jump in the car now to get things we need.
This is a marked difference from last week. He seems happy and content. He is expecting to come and stay for extended periods in the future and assumes it is his new normal. He has not mentioned going home but I have told him that we will find out more details on Friday and be able to make more concrete plans.
Sarnia de la Maré FRSA, MDes, PGDipMus, BAHons
